Emotional Outlets

As with anything else when we are making changes in our life, how we deal with our emotions is definitely on the list.  This past week I had the opportunity to really see how the changes I have been making are really sticking and making a difference.  My heart was broken and I had to deal with all those emotions of sadness, anger, confusion, etc.  All those things that are part of what is ultimately a grieving process.  Normally I would have wanted to just sit and eat.  Get comfortable in my chair with my blanket and a bag of chips, cookies, whatever I could find in the house.  But I didn't do that.  While yes I did cry, yell, got mad and cried some more; I also ran.  I got my shoes on, stuck my ear buds in my ears, cranked the worship music and ran.  Now keep in mind I'm more of a walker then a runner.  I still have a lot of weight to get rid of so running is not an easy task at all.  But I did it.  Granted they were short distances with walking in between but I was running nonetheless.  And you know when I got done I really felt so much better.  I even joked with a friend that maybe I should have someone make my mad before I go for a workout more often, as my pace has significantly increased. 

Maybe running isn't your thing, or you physically aren't capable of running.  But you can walk, paint, journal, whatever it is that works for you.  Find your own emotional outlet that doesn't include food.  And these outlets don't have to only be attached to anger, frustration, sadness, the long list of negative emotions that we face every day.  They can also be attached to the positive ones as well.  Those of us who are emotional eaters, eat when we are happy, sad, bored, excited, etc, etc, etc...........

I'm still sad at the loss that I experienced this past week and still confused about the reasons behind it.  But I also know that I have a new way to deal with all that.  And I can work through it all in a more healthy way then I have in the past.  One day at a time, one step at a time, one mile at a time.  So what will your new outlet be?  Find one that works for you that is edify your spirit and make your life better.   

Are you a Hoarder?

Are you a hoarder?  I'm sure when you hear that question the images that you see in your mind are those that are seen on that show Hoarders: Buried Alive.  But I believe there is much more to it then just being someone who holds onto every material item that has ever passed through their hands.  Hoarding can be emotional as well as physical.  Do you tend to hang onto your feelings about something or someone forever?  Have you ever walked away from a conversation where someone dumped on you how they disliked someone else because of something they had done, and suddenly you don't like that person either even though you either have never actually met them or you have never had a bad experience with them before?  Why do we do this?  Why do we hold onto the garbage like that?

I heard Peter Walsh, the professional organizer say once "If it's not bringing joy or making your life better then get rid of it."  Just because Aunt Betty gave it to you doesn't me you have to keep it.  She would rather you passsed it on to someone who could use it then allow it to overwhelm your life.  This is true with both material stuff as well as emotional stuff.  They also say that what you outside looks like is a reflection of what's going on on the inside.  Meaning, all that clutter that is piling on that table in the corner, stuffed in that closet or hidden in that drawer is a sign that you are also holding on to stuff emotionally as well.

So it's time to start clearing out the crap.  Part of this journey to get healthy mind, body and soul means that we need to take some time going through our stuff.  And since Spring is here it's as good a time as any to start cleaning.  Today I started with one closet and I'll get to another tomorrow.  A garbage bag full of trash came out of that one closet and now it's organized and I can actually find what I need in it.  So I challenge you to begin clearing out those spaces.  Thinking less is more.

1 Corinthians 6:19  Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own.

So my body is a temple a sanctuary, the very place that the Holy Spirit resides?  And yet I keep all this garbage in there.  So He must have to really work hard to get the door open in order to get in.  Would you really invite God to live let alone visit in all that mess?  Of course He see the mess we are and loves us no less.  But wouldn't you rather have that space clean and looking it's best for him?  I know I do.  I remember when my mother-in-law would come to visit and I would spend days scrubbing every nook and cranny of my house because heaven forbid she think that I wasn't a proper house keeper.  Why would I work so hard to impress her and yet not want to clean up the mess for God himself?  The wonderful thing about Him is that He will happily come in and help us clean up the mess that we are, one little section at a time.  

Uncovering Buried Emotions

Have you ever been in the middle of a work out and felt this wave of emotion come over you?  You know that overwhelming feeling to start crying?  I have had that happen a few times and for the longest time I wondered, "what the heck and where did that come from".  I knew that it wasn't because I was overly tired, or pushing to hard, or even upset about something to begin with.  But what was it?  Why did I suddenly feel like I was going to burst into tears?   Those hurts, offenses, pains that I had stuffed away with food so I didn't have to deal with them or show them to anyone were coming to the surface.  While working out I was uncovering  those buried emotions that have been so long in the grave that I had forgotten they were even there.  Though conscience I wasn't aware of them, while I was working out something else was working in my spirit/soul whatever you want to call it.

 If you're an emotional eater, like myself, then you should be aware that what you are doing when you are stuffing your face is just stuffing those emotions that you don't want to deal with at the moment.  Whither they are sad, anger, boredom, hurt, happy, they are all the same.  And at some point you are going to have to deal with them.  Wither you like it or not they will resurface.  I for one would so much rather deal with them while in the process of getting myself healthier, then on a day when I'm not expecting them to hit me in the face.  That can get really ugly. 

So how do we start to deal with those internal issues?  One step at a time.  Part of this process to get healthy has to be facing the issues that got us to the unhealthy place that we are in now.  We have to resolve those things of the past or it will do us no good.  We can eat all the right things, work out till we are exhausted and even lose the weight but if those internal issues are still keeping our minds and spirits unhealthy we will ultimately go right back to where we are now at some point.  And if those things are making your soul (mind and spirit) unhealthy then wouldn't we want to fix that as well anyway. 

So hear goes, a personal moment.  My issues began when I was 9 years old.  When my father began molesting me.  Of course he said it was our secret and that I couldn't tell anyone.  So what does a 9 year old do when she feels violated, trapped and alone?  This one ate.  I stuffed all those emotions and fears down with food.  I've hid behind food since.  When I'm bored, tired, upset, whatever....food.  So now we have to face those issues and deal with them and then move on.  Forgiving those who have hurt you, letting go of the hurt and anger, and moving on in a healthy direction.  Would love to hear your thoughts and your stories.

Finding Your Way Forward

We all have those things that have happened in our lives that effect who we become, how we feel about ourselves, and how we take care of ourselves.  So many of us cope with those things by abusing ourselves in one way or another.  For some it's with drugs and alcohol, for others it's with food.  We bury our hurts and as they say "self medicate".  But we all have to come to a point in our lives where we have to make a decision.  Do you continue on the path you are on or do you change directions and make a better path?  I have decided it's time to change directions.

I think the biggest thing is making that decision and then finding the determination with in yourself to make the changes that need to be made.  I actually began this journey in November at 263 pounds and it's taken me a few months but I've finally found my momentum and now I'm moving forward.  I finally hit the 20 pounds lost in the last week and I know I still have a long way to go but I'm going to get there.  

How do you find that determination?  I don't think I really have an answer for that question other then you have to pull it out of yourself.  I hear people say all the time who say "I wish I could be excited about exercise like you" or "I really wish I could be motivated like you".  And I will even admit that I have said "I'll do it if I know I have someone waiting for me but if I'm on my own I won't".  And yes that used to be me.  I am by no means excited about getting up and working out when my alarm goes off at 4:30am.  That's especially frustrating when I'm not seeing any changes on the scale.  But I know that I HAVE to do it.  It's no longer a choice.  If I want to be a healthier, better mom and daycare provider I HAVE to change the direction my life has been moving.  While it has to start within yourself, having a support system is HUGE and I want to be there for you as well.  Let's do this together.   

So since today is the 1st day of the month and a Monday, why not start today with your change.  I have found that setting a challenge for myself is a huge motivator.  I have determined myself to workout a minimum of 5 days a week, on top of walking at least 100 miles in the month.  What are you going to do this month?  Give yourself a reasonable goal that you can achieve and then push yourself a little more.  To walk 100 miles you have to get in 3.34 miles each day for 30 days.  Don't think you can do that just yet, that's ok you'll get there.  Determine to walk at least 25 miles. Get a calendar and write down what you've done each day.  You will find that as the month moves along and your total starts getting closer and closer to your goal that you have even more motivation to get there.  And of course you will find that the more you do the easier it gets.  Need a cheerleader or someone to tell you to get up and moving, or both because each day is different.  Let's do this together.