Getting back on track......

So we all can get off track on our journey from time to time.  That is not the problem. The problem is when we allow that to become a train wreck and don't stop the veering before it's out of control.  I've had a rough few weeks.  I did the 30K+ and then ran a 5K on the 4th of July.  The 5K I really pushed myself hard and ended up with an injury.  And so the past month I haven't done much of anything at all.

In June I walk/ran 154 miles, July I got in 37 miles and August.....well we really don't want to talk about the first 20 days of August now do we.  Of course we do, this is after all about being transparent and holding nothing back right.  Nothing, nada, zip, zilch.....Yep not one mile in the first 3 weeks of the month.  Not helping my 1000 mile goal in any way at all.  My foot still hurts, mostly in the mornings when I get up but still hurts nonetheless.  But as of yesterday we are back to the pavement.  Much to the happiness and joy of my dog, we got in 2.5 miles yesterday and then 3 miles this morning.  And boy did it ever feel great.  We'll work back up to our 5+ miles in the next week or so.  I also ordered myself a new workout dvd set.  T25....it's a new beachbody program that I'm sure will totally kick my butt, but it's only 25 minutes long.  I can do that much, right. lol

Yes, in the past month of doing nothing I gained back 5 pounds.  YIKES!!  That really bites.  But I'm not going to allow it to defeat me.  I have a goal to achieve and I will get there.  Still down 30 pounds and that's not coming back.  I have a much bigger goal to get to and so we have to get heading back in the right direction again.

I found the next trail run I want to do but we'll have to see how my foot holds up the next few weeks.  The race is October 5th and I have a few weeks before I have to get registered.  25K I really want to do it.  I have to catching up to do and some serious training to do to get there but that is where my focus is now.  I was thinking the other day how funny it is that I get excited about these long races now, when a year ago I would have laughed at the suggestion.  Walk, let along run 25K (that's 15.625 miles) was totally an absurd thought.  3 miles maybe, but never 15 or even the 19.4 that I did in June.  I'm still not really running a lot but I'll get there.  It doesn't really matter how you get to the finish line or how long it takes you, what matters is that you started and you finished it.   

So when you start to feel yourself veering off course, catch yourself and focus on the path ahead and keep moving forward.  It's not the off track that is the failure, it's allowing the train wreck to stop your progress that makes it a failure.  I started this journey and I intend on finishing it and not quitting.  

Freedom

It's the 4th of July, Independence Day for those of us in the US.  We join family and friends and celebrate our freedom each year.  Freedom that was won for us by those who came before and sacrificed so much.  Freedoms that we so often take for granted.  This morning I got up, stepped on the scale and got ready to head out and run a 5K fun run.  My scale said -38 pounds.  Only 2 more to hit my next goal of 40 pounds.  YAHOO!!!  My ultimate goal is 100 so I've broken it up into 10 pound increments.  But that's another story.  Today as I was waiting for the 5K to start I was thinking about freedom and what that really means to me.

I've lost almost 40 pounds, 2 weeks ago I ran/walked a 30K and finished it within my goal time.  Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to do that.  I couldn't have done that.  Having the freedom to move and the freedom to be able to not only set a goal but to be able to beat it is the best feeling ever.  I'm so excited to see how much freer I get to be as the next 60+ pounds goes away. 

What is holding you back from your dreams?  What is keeping you from doing the things you really want to do?  Do you want to be able to keep up with your kids?  Do you want to run a marathon?  Do you simply want to be able to climb your stairs without pain and feeling winded?  It's time to take those dreams and put some action behind them.  If all you can do it walk down you sidewalk today, then do it.  Do that much for the week, then add a little more.  Keep moving until you achieve the dreams that you have for yourself.  YOU are the only thing standing in your way.  And if you need someone to help keep you accountable then call me, we'll do this together :)

Happy Independence Day!  Stay safe and have fun. 

30K Trail Rail Run

 What an incredible day!!!!!  In this effort to move forward to a better me.  A healthier me.  Mind, body and soul I have been pushing myself to do things that I've never imagine I could let alone would be able to do.  Well today was one of those days that I tackled a challenged and pushed myself farther then I could have ever imagined.  I have this incredibly amazing friend who runs ultra-marathons.  She recently finished a 100 mile ultra and she encouraged me to find a 1/2 marathon.  Even if I walk most of it I could do the distance in the time allotted.  So I looked for something of that distance in our area, I remembered this trail run that was coming up.  So I checked it out and they had a 30K section.  18.64 miles, I can do that I thought.  So I signed up.

The day started early.  My alarm went off at 3:45 and I knew I had to be out the door by 5am.  It was an hour drive to St. Regis where I would park my car and catch the shuttle to the starting line.  And I had to cross the time zone so I was losing an hour.  I made it over with plenty of time, chatted with a few other runners while waiting for our shuttle and then we head to the starting line. 

I met this wonderful woman who had a plan to run 30 seconds and walk 30 seconds.  I thought this was a great plan because while I'm working on my running I wouldn't call myself a runner.  She was great.  We ran and walked and chatted for the first couple of miles.  And then I got hot in the sweatshirt I was wearing and had to take a walking break to remove said shirt and throw it to the side on the trail.  I purposely wore one that if I needed to do this I would be ok with losing it.  Hopefully someone who can use it picked it up. 

I then spent the next 4 or 5 miles walking and running at my own pace.  I had another woman walk a bit with me and we had a great chat.  Then off she went.  At about the 6 mile mark another woman caught up to me and she was running 30 seconds, walking a minute and twenty seconds.  She and I ran and walked together for about 5 miles.  We made the half way mark together and I really enjoyed her company.

After about the 12th mile my ankles started to ache a bit so I slowed my pace a bit.  I knew I was ahead of the schedule that I had set for myself so I felt good about doing that.  I walked the next 6 miles and then we finally got off the trail and had some pavement.  I was so disappointed when I reached the pavement thinking that I should only have just over half a mile left to go only to find out that I still had 1.6 miles.  The last .5 mile was the hardest.  Back on trail again that was uneven and windy.  I didn't think I had anything left in me and this great guy came running up behind me and gave me the push and the encouragement to finish strong.   He ran to the finish line with me.  What a great feeling.

My goal for the day was to finish the 30K (18.64 miles) in less then 5 hours.  When I made it to the 18.64 mile mark I was at 4:55.  I made my goal.  Total finished time for the 19.4 miles was 5:09.  I'm very happy with that and when asked if I would do it again my answer was a resounding YES.  Not next week by any means but yes I will do it again.  Now I have a finish time to beat.  :)

I was so bless to have so many messages through the day with words of encouragement.  Thank you to all who supported me through this challenge.  I couldn't have made it to the end without you all.   

At the Starting line getting ready to go.

Other 30Ker's getting ready to go.

5 miles and still going strong

Had to pick up a little souvenir along the way.

Isn't the scenery in front of me beautiful

By about mile 14 I really wanted to take my shoes off and soak my feet in the river.

Crossing the finish line

The tracker on my phone said 19.4 miles

My final times. 

I would walk 500 miles......

At the beginning of the year I set a goal to walk or run 1000 miles before the end of the year.  On Wednesday I made the half way mark.....500 miles.  I was so excited about reaching this point in my goal.   

So how does one reach a goal like this you might ask?  Well it's simple.....one step at a time.  I actually broke it down and made a plan.  I knew that in order to make this goal I would have to walk a minimum of 3.2 miles a day, 6 days a week or 19.25 miles per week.  And I shared my plan with others.  Making myself accountable.  I knew I couldn't possibly get to the end of the year and have someone ask me if I made it to 1000 miles and then to have to say "well no I gave up and didn't make it".    I did start out slow.  Honestly, it was cold out in January and I had to fight the snow and other horrid winter weather.  But I had made a commitment with myself and set a goal and I knew that I had to keep going.

Now that we are heading into summer the challenge is the heat.  But that ok since I get up early and get it done and out of the way before the heat sets in and the kid craziness invades my house.   As of this morning I am actually 3 weeks a head of schedule....YAY!!!  Part of my plan for this year along with finding a healthier me was to push myself and get out of my box and try some things I never would have imagined myself doing.  So one of those things is participating in a 30K Trail Run, 18.6 miles.  Now while I'm still walking more then running I'm still going to tackle this distance.  I have a time limit goal that I've set for myself, 5 hours.  Which would keep me at about a 16 mpm pace.  My plan is to run some, walk some and beat that time.  I can't wait.

So set a challenge for yourself and share it with your friends and get moving.  Maybe your's isn't to walk 1000 miles in a year, or 100 miles in a month.  Maybe your personal goal is to walk 15 miles in a week.  Maybe it's just to get out and walk for 15 minutes 3 days a week.  Whatever it is do it.  Set that goal for yourself and then strive to surpass it.  You will totally surprise yourself and feel so great in the end.  Here's to getting up of the couch, out of the recliner, and out of the house.  Get moving and enjoy the beauty outside that God has created for our pleasure. 

And just so I'm not the only one singing this song all weekend here's a little something for your listening pleasure.    You're Welcome :)

Refreshed, Reset and Accomplished

I know I'm not the only one who has those days, weeks, month (however long it may be) where things get to be so overwhelming and heavy that you just need a day to reset and refresh yourself so you can then be able to pour into others and do what needs to be done the best way you can.  That has been the past few weeks for me.  Between the craziness of kid schedules, dance recital week and the emotionalness (is that even a word) of the past few weeks I really needed one of those days to refresh myself.  Today was that day for me.  

No I didn't take the day and just relax and do nothing.  I used the day to get so much accomplished and marked off my to-do list.  The sun was shining and it was wonderfully warm out so my hubby and I set out to get everything done outside that we have been needing to do.  Yard cleaned up and mowed, garage cleaned, 2 trips to the transfer station with all the garbage that had piled up over the winter months, broken toys and yard waste.  Then came in and got the house clean, laundry done, and finished the day with a wonderful yummy dinner. 

I love how busy days like today feel when they are finished.  Accomplished, refreshed and ready to tackle a new week.  I have a state inspection for my license coming up and now I feel good and ready for it.  I can breath and focus again on what I need to focus on.  

So what do you do to refresh yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed with all that's going on around you?   

Emotional Outlets

As with anything else when we are making changes in our life, how we deal with our emotions is definitely on the list.  This past week I had the opportunity to really see how the changes I have been making are really sticking and making a difference.  My heart was broken and I had to deal with all those emotions of sadness, anger, confusion, etc.  All those things that are part of what is ultimately a grieving process.  Normally I would have wanted to just sit and eat.  Get comfortable in my chair with my blanket and a bag of chips, cookies, whatever I could find in the house.  But I didn't do that.  While yes I did cry, yell, got mad and cried some more; I also ran.  I got my shoes on, stuck my ear buds in my ears, cranked the worship music and ran.  Now keep in mind I'm more of a walker then a runner.  I still have a lot of weight to get rid of so running is not an easy task at all.  But I did it.  Granted they were short distances with walking in between but I was running nonetheless.  And you know when I got done I really felt so much better.  I even joked with a friend that maybe I should have someone make my mad before I go for a workout more often, as my pace has significantly increased. 

Maybe running isn't your thing, or you physically aren't capable of running.  But you can walk, paint, journal, whatever it is that works for you.  Find your own emotional outlet that doesn't include food.  And these outlets don't have to only be attached to anger, frustration, sadness, the long list of negative emotions that we face every day.  They can also be attached to the positive ones as well.  Those of us who are emotional eaters, eat when we are happy, sad, bored, excited, etc, etc, etc...........

I'm still sad at the loss that I experienced this past week and still confused about the reasons behind it.  But I also know that I have a new way to deal with all that.  And I can work through it all in a more healthy way then I have in the past.  One day at a time, one step at a time, one mile at a time.  So what will your new outlet be?  Find one that works for you that is edify your spirit and make your life better.   

Are you a Hoarder?

Are you a hoarder?  I'm sure when you hear that question the images that you see in your mind are those that are seen on that show Hoarders: Buried Alive.  But I believe there is much more to it then just being someone who holds onto every material item that has ever passed through their hands.  Hoarding can be emotional as well as physical.  Do you tend to hang onto your feelings about something or someone forever?  Have you ever walked away from a conversation where someone dumped on you how they disliked someone else because of something they had done, and suddenly you don't like that person either even though you either have never actually met them or you have never had a bad experience with them before?  Why do we do this?  Why do we hold onto the garbage like that?

I heard Peter Walsh, the professional organizer say once "If it's not bringing joy or making your life better then get rid of it."  Just because Aunt Betty gave it to you doesn't me you have to keep it.  She would rather you passsed it on to someone who could use it then allow it to overwhelm your life.  This is true with both material stuff as well as emotional stuff.  They also say that what you outside looks like is a reflection of what's going on on the inside.  Meaning, all that clutter that is piling on that table in the corner, stuffed in that closet or hidden in that drawer is a sign that you are also holding on to stuff emotionally as well.

So it's time to start clearing out the crap.  Part of this journey to get healthy mind, body and soul means that we need to take some time going through our stuff.  And since Spring is here it's as good a time as any to start cleaning.  Today I started with one closet and I'll get to another tomorrow.  A garbage bag full of trash came out of that one closet and now it's organized and I can actually find what I need in it.  So I challenge you to begin clearing out those spaces.  Thinking less is more.

1 Corinthians 6:19  Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own.

So my body is a temple a sanctuary, the very place that the Holy Spirit resides?  And yet I keep all this garbage in there.  So He must have to really work hard to get the door open in order to get in.  Would you really invite God to live let alone visit in all that mess?  Of course He see the mess we are and loves us no less.  But wouldn't you rather have that space clean and looking it's best for him?  I know I do.  I remember when my mother-in-law would come to visit and I would spend days scrubbing every nook and cranny of my house because heaven forbid she think that I wasn't a proper house keeper.  Why would I work so hard to impress her and yet not want to clean up the mess for God himself?  The wonderful thing about Him is that He will happily come in and help us clean up the mess that we are, one little section at a time.  

Uncovering Buried Emotions

Have you ever been in the middle of a work out and felt this wave of emotion come over you?  You know that overwhelming feeling to start crying?  I have had that happen a few times and for the longest time I wondered, "what the heck and where did that come from".  I knew that it wasn't because I was overly tired, or pushing to hard, or even upset about something to begin with.  But what was it?  Why did I suddenly feel like I was going to burst into tears?   Those hurts, offenses, pains that I had stuffed away with food so I didn't have to deal with them or show them to anyone were coming to the surface.  While working out I was uncovering  those buried emotions that have been so long in the grave that I had forgotten they were even there.  Though conscience I wasn't aware of them, while I was working out something else was working in my spirit/soul whatever you want to call it.

 If you're an emotional eater, like myself, then you should be aware that what you are doing when you are stuffing your face is just stuffing those emotions that you don't want to deal with at the moment.  Whither they are sad, anger, boredom, hurt, happy, they are all the same.  And at some point you are going to have to deal with them.  Wither you like it or not they will resurface.  I for one would so much rather deal with them while in the process of getting myself healthier, then on a day when I'm not expecting them to hit me in the face.  That can get really ugly. 

So how do we start to deal with those internal issues?  One step at a time.  Part of this process to get healthy has to be facing the issues that got us to the unhealthy place that we are in now.  We have to resolve those things of the past or it will do us no good.  We can eat all the right things, work out till we are exhausted and even lose the weight but if those internal issues are still keeping our minds and spirits unhealthy we will ultimately go right back to where we are now at some point.  And if those things are making your soul (mind and spirit) unhealthy then wouldn't we want to fix that as well anyway. 

So hear goes, a personal moment.  My issues began when I was 9 years old.  When my father began molesting me.  Of course he said it was our secret and that I couldn't tell anyone.  So what does a 9 year old do when she feels violated, trapped and alone?  This one ate.  I stuffed all those emotions and fears down with food.  I've hid behind food since.  When I'm bored, tired, upset, whatever....food.  So now we have to face those issues and deal with them and then move on.  Forgiving those who have hurt you, letting go of the hurt and anger, and moving on in a healthy direction.  Would love to hear your thoughts and your stories.

Finding Your Way Forward

We all have those things that have happened in our lives that effect who we become, how we feel about ourselves, and how we take care of ourselves.  So many of us cope with those things by abusing ourselves in one way or another.  For some it's with drugs and alcohol, for others it's with food.  We bury our hurts and as they say "self medicate".  But we all have to come to a point in our lives where we have to make a decision.  Do you continue on the path you are on or do you change directions and make a better path?  I have decided it's time to change directions.

I think the biggest thing is making that decision and then finding the determination with in yourself to make the changes that need to be made.  I actually began this journey in November at 263 pounds and it's taken me a few months but I've finally found my momentum and now I'm moving forward.  I finally hit the 20 pounds lost in the last week and I know I still have a long way to go but I'm going to get there.  

How do you find that determination?  I don't think I really have an answer for that question other then you have to pull it out of yourself.  I hear people say all the time who say "I wish I could be excited about exercise like you" or "I really wish I could be motivated like you".  And I will even admit that I have said "I'll do it if I know I have someone waiting for me but if I'm on my own I won't".  And yes that used to be me.  I am by no means excited about getting up and working out when my alarm goes off at 4:30am.  That's especially frustrating when I'm not seeing any changes on the scale.  But I know that I HAVE to do it.  It's no longer a choice.  If I want to be a healthier, better mom and daycare provider I HAVE to change the direction my life has been moving.  While it has to start within yourself, having a support system is HUGE and I want to be there for you as well.  Let's do this together.   

So since today is the 1st day of the month and a Monday, why not start today with your change.  I have found that setting a challenge for myself is a huge motivator.  I have determined myself to workout a minimum of 5 days a week, on top of walking at least 100 miles in the month.  What are you going to do this month?  Give yourself a reasonable goal that you can achieve and then push yourself a little more.  To walk 100 miles you have to get in 3.34 miles each day for 30 days.  Don't think you can do that just yet, that's ok you'll get there.  Determine to walk at least 25 miles. Get a calendar and write down what you've done each day.  You will find that as the month moves along and your total starts getting closer and closer to your goal that you have even more motivation to get there.  And of course you will find that the more you do the easier it gets.  Need a cheerleader or someone to tell you to get up and moving, or both because each day is different.  Let's do this together.